I never realized I was afraid of public speaking until the first time I got up in front of a group of 30 people to do a presentation in a business setting. That’s when it hit me all at once, sweaty palms, blurred vision, the sounds of the room fading out to the increasing beat of my own heart. When I tried to open my mouth it was like someone was holding my jaw shut and when I finally was able to get some words out I couldn’t even recognize my own voice because the pitch was so high and breathless, not to mention the stammers and stutters.
After I stumbled my way through the presentation and made my way to the back of the room, I was in shock. I didn’t have any indication this would happen to me, sure, I felt some sense of anticipation before going up, but I hadn’t expected it to be that bad. In fact, I had performed in drama class, plays, piano recitals, and all kinds of similar activities when I was younger and there were never any problems. What had happened since? Well, I’m still not sure exactly what was so different, but that instance did set off my fear of public speaking, and from then on, whenever I knew I had to speak in front of people the anxiety would set in and my stomach would start churning at the thought.
Avoidance
For a while, I did what was easiest, avoided speaking in front of people at all costs. I was fine in a small group setting when I knew almost everyone, so meetings weren’t a problem. It was only larger groups of people I didn’t know that terrified me, so I just avoided these situations and the fear that came with them. But after a year or so, I realized if I wanted to progress in my career, I wouldn’t be able to avoid those situations forever. As part of my role, I ran many events which gave me plenty of opportunities to speak in front of people, but I had just been finding ways to not have to do it. As there were plenty of other responsibilities I had running the events, it was never an issue. But I knew I would never be able to get better if I didn’t try.
Realistic Goals
At first, I started reading books, watching TED talks, and seeing how these amazing speakers delivered life-changing talks. They were impressive for sure, and I got some good tips, but the thought of trying to put it into practice was still overwhelming. Then I realized that I didn’t want or need to be the next Tony Robbins or Steve Jobs, I had no plans to make my entire career center around public speaking, and looking to those kinds of speakers as the standard was too big of a leap and putting un-needed pressure on myself. I decided I needed to take it step-by-step and set realistic goals for myself: Be able to give presentations in front of groups of 30–50 people and not faint in the process. I didn’t need to deliver an-awe inspiring message or life-altering perspective in my talk, just deliver my content in a confident and comfortable manner.
Taking Action
So I started to engineer situations where I would be “forced” to get in front of people and talk, no matter how scared I was. The first situation was for an event on digitalization, speaking to a group of women returning to the workforce, and the topic I chose was digital marketing. That’s a subject I know well and am very confident in, so I thought it was a great place to start. I spent weeks building my presentation and practicing the talk in front of the mirror. At this point, I was still too worried to even share with my wife and practice in front of her. Finally, the day came and it was my turn to speak, my boss was in the room along with many teammates as well as partners from other large organizations. I was definitely still terrified and my voice sounded funny, but I forced myself to go on, and I made it through the presentation. Was it an amazing talk? Absolutely not. But it was good enough. I had gotten through it, delivered the message I wanted to, and shared my knowledge and perspective with a group of over 50 people.
After that small success, I started putting myself in more situations with speaking opportunities, I presented to partners on our marketing support, customers on our programs, and more. It never became fun, but it did get easier. I spent hours preparing and practicing, only to every time have an almost out-of-body experience when I got to the podium and get through the presentation by sheer muscle memory. I presented to biggish crowds of 50 people or more about 5 times over the next year or two. The culmination came at our big annual event with over 1000 delegates and people including my big boss, the CMO in attendance. I needed to present on a new program we were launching to help startups reach more customers. I could have passed off the responsibility to someone else or made excuses why we didn’t need a full presentation, we could get them the info another way, but I made myself do it. The talk went well, the CMO was happy, and our program went on to be a success.
Conclusion
After that, COVID happened and events stopped, and in my most recent roles, we have had solution experts that are able to do far better presentations than I ever could. But at least I know, when it is needed again, I will be able to get up in front of a crowd and deliver a talk without freezing or forgetting everything. It wasn’t easy to make myself do something that I was so anxious about, but it was worth it in the end. To wrap this article up, let me give you a quick list of the things that helped me get through the presentations and face my fear of public speaking:
- No one expects you to be perfect, so don’t try to be — it is better to sound natural anyway, so don’t memorize your script and freak out if you miss a word or say something out of order.
- Prepare, prepare, prepare — If you feel weird or scared to deliver the talk to yourself or a close friend, imagine how you will feel doing the real thing. Lessen your anxiety by practicing as much as possible, even recording yourself and watching it back.
- Create your talk yourself — In a corporate setting sometimes you may be able to take presentations someone else has already made and use them for your purpose, but don’t. There’s no better way to know the material inside and out than creating the talk yourself.
- Put in the reps — Just like you wouldn’t expect to be amazing at a new sport the first time you try, you won’t be comfortable speaking either. Stand-up comics work on new jokes over many shows until they perfect the timing, phrasing, and delivery. The more you speak, the better you will be.
- Be yourself — Don’t try to sound like someone else, add in humor you aren’t comfortable with, or use fancy language that you wouldn’t normally, it will make everything harder for you. By planning to sound like your normal self, not only will you be more comfortable, you will also come across as more genuine and authentic, which will make your whole talk better.